WINTER STORM IN DELAWARE

The “nor’easter” is almost over and is moving on after dumping about ten or so inches of snow all over central Delaware and other parts of the Mid-Atlantic. The scene is lovely, soft and white. But the typical area reaction to a snowstorm is in full swing. It started late Saturday with panic which continued into Sunday. Panic is the stage when the multitudes descend upon the stores buying everything edible, drinkable and useful in melting snow. Kosher salt was flying off the shelves along with milk, bread and cereal.

When the snow starts there is the driving around madly, causing accidents or participating in them stage. That went on from Sunday afternoon through late that night. The young guys who think they can control their four wheel drive pick-up trucks on any kind of road were filling the ditches with their vehicles and the emergency rooms with their broken bodies. The old ladies trying to get that last can of cat food from Safeway were creeping around in their cars causing pile ups at every stop light. The pre-storm frenzy gradually abated as the real snow started to fall.

Then the next stage of the storm is the widespread cancellation phase. This is where the government agencies get to show their true incompetence. First the educators, looking for a free long weekend, cancel every kind of school there is to cancel, from day care to university night school. Then the local and state offices begin their pyramid calling schemes making sure that everyone knows that a day off is on the way. Only “essential” people need to report to work. What a great way of defining about ninety percent of government workers as “non-essential.” I guess the essential workers would be the police, fire and public safety folks. Also those guys in the highway department that get to drive the snow plow and salt spreading trucks. Here in Delaware they do that job two or three times a year. That’s just enough to time to show that they are really not very good at it, due to lack of practice. But they rack up the overtime hours spending the entire snow removal budget in about a day and a half. Then the Governor gets to go on TV and announce a state of emergency and a new budget shortage. The predictability of all of this is laughable. All of the canceling spreads into the business sector. But Wal-Mart remains open and is full of customers, proving again their superior marketing ability. Every snow or weather emergency follows these patterns and is far more predictable than the weather itself.

So now we’re in the digging out phase of the storm. The snow is dwindling. The snow plow guys are starting to get the hang of driving their vehicles and the transplanted northerners have already done their preliminary shoveling. Meanwhile the native Delawareans are hunkered down in front of the TV screens watching scenes that they could look out the windows and observe. Soon they will take their shiny new snow shovels out to clear driveways and sidewalks. That will create another emergency room rush of suspected heart attack victims who don’t know the way to shovel in moderation.

By evening today folks will be out and about. But the schools will remain closed tomorrow because the school administrators are so fearful of any possibility of injury. Besides a four day weekend is better than a three day and there’s still one “snow day” built in to the school year schedule so they might as well use it.

That’s what’s happening here in central Delaware. I’m going outside now to thoroughly clean the snow off my car. That’s another thing people around here fail to do. They’ll scrape a little hole in the driver side windshield and window and take off, being a total hazard to themselves and everyone else they can’t see on the road. Stuff like that makes me wish that spring was here.

Have a fine day.