WHAT I'VE LEARNED

I’m not rich. I’m not particularly well educated. I’m not a political mover and shaker. So there’s not much reason for anyone to consider my opinions or advice as being any more valuable than the fact that four out of five doctors prefer Anacin. But having attained an age that not so long ago was considered in the top range of longevity, I’ve developed an inflated sense of self worth which finds expression in these articles, stories and other assorted junk that flows from this keyboard like so much electronic sewage. And today I’m going to submit for your consideration some of my very own discoveries about life and what makes it such an adventure.

LIFE DOESN’T SUCK. I know that line flies in the face of conventional bumper sticker wisdom but I’ve found, by and large, that life does not, indeed, suck. Life may be a trial and it may be fraught with burdens. (How many people use the word “fraught” nowadays? Just us geezers I think.) But even with disease, famine, pestilence, political upheaval, global warming and other disasters life…. Well I guess I’d better reconsider this thought. Life can suck. But fortunately, although I’ve endured a few pretty bad things, my life has been very good. So I’m thankful that we’ve been able to avoid the litany of horrible stuff that can happen to make life suck. And we muddle on.

FAMILY IS NUMBER ONE. This has been said often enough and in enough places that it shouldn’t be necessary to write it again. But one more little reminder can’t hurt.

A BIG FAMILY IS GOOD, SO MAKE ONE. This has been a more recent revelation to my mind. I was fortunate enough to be born into a large family. My relatives number in the hundreds. But it’s only been in the last several years that I’ve reconnected with a large number of these family members and it has been a really great experience. The wider and more inclusive the connections are, the more I learn about new things and the people that are teaching me the new things. I’ve learned to see this big family in different ways as well. If you need to make friends and then treat them like family to insure that you have a big family then I would advise doing that. You never know when you might need a kind cousin, aunt or uncle to listen to you in a way that’s less intimate and more objective than a brother or sister. Brothers and sisters are great but they’re usually on your side and sometimes you need someone to tell you that you’re full of baloney. Although, as I think about it, my brothers and sister never hesitate to tell me I’m full of baloney. As a matter of fact that makes up most of what they say to me. Well your family is probably different than mine. So create a big family for yourself. It’s really worth the trouble.

RELIABLE VEHICLES MAKE LIFE EASIER. That seems pretty simplistic, doesn’t it? The reason I put it down is because for a lot of years, years ago, we had some crap cars. We had an old Nova back in the eighties that caught fire and burned up as my wife was driving it home from a repair shop. We had a ’67 Impala around the same time. It ran pretty well but sometimes the only gear that would work was reverse. I once backed that thing up for almost eight miles to get to work. There were other cars that were only slightly better. But then things improved economically, with no thanks to any past or present politician, and we were able to buy better vehicles. Life got better.

MARRIAGE IS A GOOD THING, BUT IT’S WORK. Again, this is a simplistic and not a particularly revelatory idea. But it took me a while to figure it out. Just call me thick headed. Once I/we started working at our marriage with a little more diligence and effort it got to be a lot more fun. A little listening, a little compromising and a lot less pigheadedness on my part was all it took. And now, nearly forty years into the deal, it’s still a fresh and mostly fun job that I like to go to every day of the week.

CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN ARE DIFFERENT. This discovery hit me again just the other day. I was called to my daughter’s house to take care of the youngest grandson while she took the older one to the doctor. When she got home I stayed for a few minutes and then left. There was no need for me to stay there and take care of a sick kid. If it had been necessary I suppose I would have stayed to help. But it wasn’t, so I took off. That’s a huge difference from when our daughters were small children and the burden of care was on us. Although, here again, the burden was probably on my patient and long enduring wife. We went through surgeries, broken bones, illnesses and severe bouts of adolescent angst with our girls. Now we can enjoy their offspring, help out a little and then go home or send them home. It’s a really sweet deal.

MUSIC IS WHAT MAKES US HUMAN. These simplistic platitudes just keep on pouring out. This idea isn’t, I suppose, something that I originated. Humanity is the only species that really makes music. That might be debatable when one of those six hundred decibel stereos on wheels pulls up next to me at a stop light. But that’s probably just a matter of taste on my part. Some might say that the songs of birds are music. But I kind of doubt it. While birds make beautiful and agreeable sounds that can brighten a day, heck, they don’t even play any instruments. So the ability to make and appreciate music is definitely one of the finer human qualities. And music is a perfect prelude to discussions that lead to greater understanding and knowledge of other people. Music is also an amazing stress reliever and prompter of romantic activity. Music can change or produce an emotional response almost without our realizing that it’s happening. Not everyone likes music but I’d be willing to bet that at least on some subconscious level everyone reacts to it. So put a little bit of the stuff in your life. But don’t overdo the bass.

WORK IS GOOD BUT I’M HAPPY WITHOUT IT. The largest part of my life involved going to work to earn money to support the habits of myself and my family; habits like eating, living indoors and wearing clothing. I was always proud that I could do that and, while I didn’t always like the jobs I had, I always felt that I did them pretty well. So in some ways you could say that I enjoyed working. But being consumed by a job to the point where you miss other important parts of life is not good and it’s something that I never had to worry about, except during a few darker periods. Fortunately those darker periods passed fairly quickly. Now my working life is more in tune with my true nature. I work to help keep an orderly household. I work to make my hard working wife’s life a bit easier. And I work at what amuses me. So when people, usually highly motivated wage earners, ask me if I miss working I say “Not really. I’m still working, just in a different and more enjoyable way.”

So those are some of the musings of a guy who is now waiting for his first Social Security check. There’s nothing very original in that list but, hey, I’m not getting paid to write this so lighten up. Now I’m going to take a break.

Have a fine day.