It’s hard to write funny stuff. Lately my muse has been sending me to the poetry corner and that isn’t usually funny material. It may be pitiful and ridiculous but it’s rarely funny. Although I have written some songs that I thought were somewhat funny. And some folks consider song lyrics as poetry. But today I thought I’d sit here and write something funny. I’ve been sitting here for about two hours now and I’ve typed a mess of stuff and erased all of it.
Nothing funny has happened lately. I got a mild case of conjunctivitis which wasn’t too funny, although some red-headed people think it is. Conjunctivitis is the proper name for “pink-eye”. I guess “pink-eye” is kind of a funny name. And if you ever saw how much trouble I have putting eye drops into my eyes you’d laugh out loud. For some reason I have an aversion to anything going into my eyes. So I get the dropper all lined up and my eye opened all wide and then splat, I hit the bridge of my nose or my eyebrow. It’s embarrassing. When my dear wife is home she does the job for me. But she tends to over medicate so that one drop turns into an eyebath. Oh well, the disease is receding and will be gone in a couple of days. Did you know that the germs that cause “pink-eye” are the same ones that cause some diseases of the sexually transmittable variety? It’s true. It wasn’t anything fun that got me infected.
Since I’ve been contagious I’ve kept to the house most of the time so I don’t have any observations of a humorous nature about human nature. And since I’m kind of irritated about this disease I’ve avoided reading the news and getting even more irritated. I did notice that our president has been busy overseas working on peace through appeasement. I guess he’s back in the States now giving speeches about the economy and ecology. It’s good having such a smart and experienced guy at the helm of the ship of state. But I notice that every time he gives an economic speech the stock market takes a dive. Those capitalists on Wall Street must not have much faith in Mr. Obama. They’ve realized that every proposal he makes threatens productive jobs and attacks personal income with more taxation so they’re understandably nervous.
There were a bunch of those Anti-Taxation Tea Party events around the country on the 15th of April. I didn’t go to one but I was with them in spirit. Some of them were protesting higher taxes and other government policy. Some of the events were geared more towards support of the Constitution and Bill of Rights. Still others turned into anti-Obama rallies. They all earned the wrath of a lot of liberal folks like Janine Garofolo so they must have been doing something right. I doubt if they had much impact on policy but they might have a small impact on the awareness of our legislators to the fact that there are people around not totally sold on the liberal agenda that is being imposed on us all.
The company I used to work for is now out of business and in closing up they had to make all their employee savings and pension accounts square up so that they wouldn’t be liable for lawsuits or federal prosecution. Consequently I got notice that I’m getting a little bit of money from the 2007 contributions. It’s not much but any source of funds when you’re a poor old retired guy is welcome. All we need to do is fill out a bunch of paperwork, get our signatures notarized and then wait a couple of months for the actual check. Oh well, like I said, it’s all welcome.
Tonight my wife and I are going to go look at for a new lawn mower for the house here in Dover. Both of my old ones gave up at the end of last year and are beyond worthwhile repair. The grass is pretty deep in some spots, almost knee high, so I’ve stalled long enough. I’d like to invest in one of those Jetson like devices that automatically does the whole job while I sit on a lawn chair and drink a cold beverage. Barring that it would be nice to get a good riding mower that I could steer with one hand and hold the cold beverage in the other. But I don’t think I can find a rider for under two hundred bucks. So I guess I’ll settle for a decent push mower that my wife can handle. You never know when a shoulder injury might re-occur and I’d hate to see her work too hard.
Sorry this wasn’t so funny. I’m going to go write some depressing poems now and try to recharge my humor producing brain cells. Until then…
Have a fine day.
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