FASHION OBSERVATIONS

My series on marriage is on hold. Or maybe it’s over. Whatever, I’m putting it aside now so that I can focus on a new topic. This topic is of great importance. It affects every man and woman in America. No it’s not Obama’s health care plan. And it isn’t global warming or social security. It’s much more important than all of those big issues. SEX! No that’s not it either, I just threw that in to make sure you’re paying attention. Go on to the next paragraph and I’ll tell you what is on my mind.

Bellies. Yes that is correct. I happen to be an expert on this subject having grown and lost and grown again a prodigious belly many times during my life. And I have absolutely no objection to the object on either a man or a woman. In fact a nice bit of extra padding around that area is a comfort. I know that the medical people, insurance companies and those obsessed with fitness disagree. And severe obesity, which is probably not far from my current condition, is a real health problem that shouldn’t be ignored. But a reasonably ample midriff is not always a bad thing. Men and women so endowed can dress to minimize the fashion faux pas of belly exposure in public. Most do. But lately, and here comes the real focus of today’s rant, many do not bother to properly dress their middle parts.

Young men and young women no longer worry about covering their bellies. In fact the fashion trend seems to be all about more and more exposure. Young women seem to be the worst offenders although if a young man isn’t wearing a baggy shirt down to his knees then he’s usually making an effort to expose his gut. But young women wear low slung shorts, sweat pants or pajama bottoms and top them off with a shirt that exposes skin from the top of the pubic bone to the middle of the rib cage. The more amply endowed with belly flesh the woman or girl is, the more effort to expose said amplitude is taken.

There’s some sort of ethical or moral issue in here I guess. Modesty about this kind of clothing, or lack of it, is a long forgotten concept. The cultural influence of popular female role models destroyed that idea years ago. Madonna started the trend I think. But it has been extended by so many film stars, pop and rap singers and cartoon characters that a modestly dressed girl is considered something of a freak. But I’m not that concerned about the sin of immodesty here. Hell has plenty of room.

I’m more concerned about esthetics. I appreciate beauty. And the female form is a constant source of esthetic pleasure. But there is something much more pleasing about a properly draped and dressed female form than you’ll see in the average crowd of college girls. When I was at the mall last week (a reluctant journey at the best of times) a group of young women from a nearby college were walking around spending their parents’ hard earned money. What they seemed to be buying were clothes that fit as poorly as possible. They were buying tops that were several sizes too small both in length and girth. They were also buying garments for the lower extremities that were made by companies short on fabrics for the hip and waist area. As they paraded in and out of the fitting rooms they seemed to be having a contest for who could be the closest to undressed while paying the most money. There was more belly flesh, hip flesh and bosom showing than in some of the more modest nudist colonies. These girls were not what you’d call petite. They were normal, healthy and well fed young ladies. I studied this phenomenon in the interests of science and sociology of course.

In my ancient and un-hip way I prefer a different type of woman. A woman who has a presence, who is clearly feminine and who is dressed in an alluring but not all-revealing way will always catch my eye quicker than those college girls did. Call me a hopeless sexist pig; many have. But the woman who wears clothes that fit decently looks more attractive no matter what size she is. Imagination probably has a lot to do with how men see a woman. Much of the stuff that young (and lots of older) women wear leaves a man wishing he wasn’t being forced to imagine what happens after the clothes come off before he’s imagined the clothes are coming off..

Well, that’s it for this topic. So if you’re a casually dressed, but mostly covered, lady and you spot a gray haired old codger looking at you with a certain longing in his eye, even if you’re walking with a couple of under-covered eighteen year olds, don’t be offended. Consider yourself complimented.

And have a fine day.