STARTING TODAY

Starting today I’m going to work on getting healthier. Starting today I’m not going to be so critical of people who don’t agree with me or fit my ideas of sanity and sensibility. Starting today I’m not going put off unpleasant chores. And starting today I’m going to be less cynical and more positive about things in general.

Those were my resolutions this morning as I leapt out of bed full of good intentions. But some things happened that challenged my new found goals and aspirations. First of all we were out of milk so I couldn’t have my “heart healthy” breakfast. Then I discovered that two of my prescriptions, required to keep me upright and walking, needed to be filled yesterday. And when I set out on my morning walk the rains came down spoiling the walk and messing up my nicely flowing locks. So there went ambition number one, the one about getting healthier.

So I decided to go to the convenience store and get a cup of coffee, a container of milk and a newspaper. As I was turning into the parking lot a young kid, with a cell phone up to his ear, in a big old Hummer with a blasting bass laden sound system cut in front of me and took up the spot I was heading for plus two more. Then as I went into the store two bimbo looking young girls with oversized boobs and streetwalking clothing, each yakking on their own cell phones, stood blocking the coffee counter oblivious to the world around them. After shoving them out of the way I discovered that my favorite flavor of coffee was empty. Taking a poor substitute to the counter I was confronted by a rude clerk finishing up a line of customers and dropping a “next register please” sign directly in front of me. The next register had twelve people waiting. When I was almost to the head of the line the lady in front of me decided to use her brand new debit card to pay for the two packs of gum she wanted. As she activated her card, using her cell phone, and held up the line for another five minutes the first clerk I had met re-opened and took the guy behind me and everyone else after him into her line. Finally I got out of the store. As I was leaving I was again cut off, this time by four young men on those stupid “crotch-rocket” motorcycles. After that, the longed for attitude of benevolence and tolerance I had been hoping to cultivate today was out the window.

When I got home I took a look at the bushes that need trimming, the two piles of debris that needed to be chopped up and hauled away and the little row of plants that my dear wife wants in the ground. Then I looked at the light mist falling from the gray clouds and quite easily postponed those unpleasant chores. Goal number three was abandoned with no trouble at all.

Since I didn’t have anything else pressing I sat down with the newspaper. I read a story about the proposed state budget and the foolish way that the new governor was planning to bring things into balance. I read a story about the federal government taking over a sixty percent ownership of GM. And I looked at the editorial page filled with letters from morons worrying about the terrible effects of legalizing marijuana for medical use. Most of those letters had irrelevant Biblical references and grammatical errors, further evidence of the ignorance rampant in the world today. I felt the hard shell of cynicism and negativity grow a couple inches thicker around my psyche. This was not the right day to be making “Starting today…” pronouncements. So I put them all aside and decided to write this little rant. And I feel better now, thank you.

Have a fine day.