TIME MANAGEMENT FOR THE PERMANENTLY IDLE

As more and more people move into the world of retirement, some voluntarily and others through the forces of the marketplace, I believe a need will arise for a guide instructing them in the wise use of all their newly found spare time. So I’m hereby staking a claim to the idea for the book length version of this brief article which has been forming like a pus filled pimple on my brain. I’m thinking “THE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO TIME MANAGEMENT IN RETIREMENT” is a good working title. The book will expand upon, with a great deal of high toned language, the following basic principles.

GET UP EVERY DAY. It’s true that retirement could become a state of total confinement to a nice comfy bed. But in a few months you’d be one of those enormously obese people who need to be hauled to their doctor’s appointments by a fork-lift after the wall of the bedroom has been removed. Getting up can help you avoid that embarrassing and unsightly condition.

EAT REGULAR AND MODERATE MEALS. Newly retired folks may find themselves moved to improve their expertise in the preparation of foods. They may suddenly think that cooking up the perfect Crème Brule or a nice Shepherd’s Pie is a great way to occupy themselves instead of staying in bed or sitting on the couch in front of the TV. And that may be true as long as the cooking is done in moderation. One guy I know took up cooking as a hobby. But his problem was that he started at 8 AM and cooked until 5 PM. He also sampled or completely devoured about a third of his dishes. When his wife got home from her job he headed for the recliner, leaving a full day’s worth of pots, pans and dishes to clean up. He told her what was available from his day of hobby enjoyment and she could stick it in the microwave when she was ready to eat. He on the other hand was not feeling hungry at all for some reason. So if you’re going to be an amateur chef don’t try to empty the pantry and refrigerator every day in your efforts. Plan and prepare one nice meal and then share it at an appropriate time with you spouse or significant other.

SPEND FORTY FIVE MINUTES TO AN HOUR EXERCISING. This bit of advice is pretty important. The retired person can easily slip into a totally sedentary lifestyle even if he or she doesn’t stay in bed all day. The satanic lure of the TV can suck the hours out of a day like a Dyson vacuum on crack. A computer can do the same with its temptations of social networks and on line gambling games. Forcing yourself to have a regular exercise period will help fight those evils. You don’t need to be a fitness freak like Richard Simmons or that big bosomed blond girl that’s in all the ads. You just need to walk, bicycle, jog, swim or some other tolerable form of exercise at least five or six days a week. You’ll feel better and your spouse will appreciate having you alive a few extra years instead of watching you loaf around until your arteries calcify and you become a drooling vegetable after a long series of strokes and heart attacks.

GET A HOBBY. A nice hobby can occupy a retired person for a few hours a week. An obsessive hobby can occupy a retired person more than a regular job and drive everyone in the house into alcoholism. Don’t be obsessive. Hobbies can be artistic like painting, drawing or writing. They can be of the collecting type; coins, stamps, hand painted neckties, Mickey Mouse roach clips. Or a hobby can be the pursuit of some sort of craft like crocheting afghans, building bird houses or perhaps keeping a nice garden. It might even be a good idea to have more than one hobby so that boredom can be avoided or so that all the storage space in your house doesn’t become totally glutted with a solid mass of your knitting output. Moderation is always a nice thing.

EXERCISE YOUR MIND. You’ve seen those retired people who, after a couple of years, end up sitting and staring hour after hour, day after day. Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with them other than mental atrophy. They either got totally vegged out on TV or they just never exercised their minds. Their idea of reading is to check out the labels on the soup can they’re picking out for lunch. They don’t do crosswords or sudoku puzzles or anything requiring a tiny bit of thinking. It’s pitiful really to end up like a dementia patient so early in retirement. It will probably happen some day but there’s no excuse for helping it along. So read books and newspapers, play cards or do word or number puzzles. Have lively discussions with other people in a coffee club or church group. Mental exercise won’t even cause you to be out of breath. So do it.

KEEP YOUR LOVE LIFE ACTIVE. Yeah I know this is funny, especially coming from me. But I’ve heard, and some of the written research seems to suggest, that some activity in this area can use up some time. So when I write the retirement time management book I’ll look into it a little more and if all else fails I’ll make something up.

GO PLACES. Long expensive cruises aren’t necessary. Tours of the European capitals aren’t a requirement. Those might be nice but for crying out loud we’re on a fixed income here! No, I mean go to the park, walk around the mall or maybe go fishing. The idea is to get out of the house for a few hours. If you can afford a trip someplace once in a while that’s good too. Maybe you could combine one of your hobbies with a weekend excursion. If you’re a coin collector go to a coin show in a big city. If you like wine go tour some wineries, checking first to see which ones have the best free tastings. I don’t know where you’d go if you were interested in crocheting or leather working but there’s probably something. In my upcoming book I’ll offer some more specific suggestions using information I’ll glean as I pursue my hobby. My hobby is spending a few hours a day writing junk like this, which I do, fortunately, for my own enjoyment.

So have a fine day.