Senior Activities

Friends and neighbors I have heard some disparaging comments lately.  It seems that some people (you know who you are) think that retired guys don’t do much as they plod through their declining years.  Some people are spreading false rumors, accusing those of us who have worked and struggled for many years, earning the right of retirement, of being lazy and useless.  Well friends, I’m here to tell you that those people (ingrates) are wrong and with a few well-ordered paragraphs I’ll prove my case.

First I’ll address this notion that we are useless.  Why just last week my dear wife planted the seed of an idea that I developed into a new technology which I’ll be offering to the big players in the software/hardware industry.  This could make millions and I’m sharing the idea with you, trusting that you won’t steal it.  My wife was discussing the problems some of her co-workers have with nighttime disorders that are medically dangerous.  She opined that it was a shame someone couldn’t think of some simple solution to the problem.  It’s fortunate that I was paying attention at the time because I immediately hit on an idea.  Why not find a way to use the ever present personal communication devices to solve the problems.  A little more thinking brought me to this – the Sleep App Neuro-Emitter-Amplifier.  Yes, the SleepAppNEA!  A simple change in the hardware of IPhones could add a little sensor and a lead wire.  The phone would then be programmed to sense when a person suffering from Sleep Apnia is not breathing in a regular fashion.  At that moment a neurological signal would pass through the transmitting wire giving the patient a jolt that would re-establish normal breathing.  This new phone could be clipped to one’s pajamas or, if the patient doesn’t wear those binding garments, it could be affixed to the skin with hypo-allergenic adhesive tape.  Useless?  I don’t think so.  I’ve spent many hours thinking about this and I’m sure it’s a viable idea.  SLEEPAPPNEA – A New Solution!

I spend a lot of time coming up with great ideas like the one outlined above.  I’m very sure that other retired folks, especially the guys, spend much of their valuable time considering ways to make life better for all mankind.  Some of the ideas they’ve come up with may already be in use.  I have it on good authority that “Swiffer” mops, Keurig coffee makers and squirt guns that shoot soap bubbles were all invented by retired people in those quiet thinking moments. 

Now I need to address the idea that retired people are lazy.  In fact, besides the hours that I spend thinking, doing household chores and writing, I also help keep hundreds of people busy and in jobs that pay well.  And even better, these folks work all over the world not just here in the good old USA.  Yes I’m talking about telemarketers.  I’m here at home all day and I’m always ready and willing to give those fine members of the work force a chance to tell me what they’re selling.  It stands to reason that if they had no one to talk to then they’d soon be out looking for a job.  Now I’ll admit that I don’t buy anything from these people.  My dear wife keeps far too tight a hold on the family purse strings for me to start buying insurance, siding, windows or medical alert systems.  But those callers are only interested in completing a call because other people do the actual selling.  I also admit that I sometimes get bored with the usual sales pitches and consequently will play with the earnest employees.  I might ask them where they’re sitting.  I might say that they have twenty seconds to make their pitch and then hang up after only eighteen seconds.  One caller a couple days ago asked if I would verify that the line she called on was, in fact, my assigned number.  I told her no and asked her to call me back on a different number.  I gave her Joe Biden’s.  Yes I have Joe’s number.  I am a Delawarean after all.  Once in a while I’ll let the caller go all the way to the end of their set of questions, answering just the way he or she wants me to and when he gets to the part where a sales appointment would be made, I hang up.  They really hate that one.  I know because more than one has called back to try and finish the deal.  I act like I never heard of them.  So now you see that I’m not only busy but I’m good for the economy.

I’m closing this up now.  The phone’s ringing and Mr. Obama is counting on me to do my share.

Have a fine day.

Big Problems

I was sitting at the computer scrolling through the news on CNN the other day when my oldest grandson walked by my chair.

He said “Grandpa, why are you muttering so much? And why are you so angry?

I said “Young man, you don’t really want to know. Besides that, I wouldn’t know how to begin to tell you without taking up several days of your precious growing up time.”

So he went off to do something useful regarding bugs.

I used the amazing power of the mouse and clicked off the news and thought about that brief conversation. When I get into a pessimistic frame of mind it’s better to keep my thoughts to myself. It’s wouldn’t be right to unload on an innocent child all the dismay and discouragement that builds up when I read the news. Kids will find out about all of that soon enough. But here’s the big question. (There’s always a big question, right?) What the hell is wrong with the world today?

Okay, never mind. That’s too big a question. Let me try to narrow it down a little bit. Try this on for size. What the hell is wrong with so many people in our country today? I’m not trying to disparage any particular individuals, but I’m going to list a few groups of folks that I just can’t understand. If you’re in one of these groups please don’t take offense, I just want to try and understand you and the particular behavior that you indulge in, because frankly I don’t get it. Here goes.

1) Why wear pajama bottoms in public? Or even worse, why wear pajamas that don’t fit, a too small t-shirt and flip flops or fuzzy bedroom slippers in public? Will this fashion statement ever fade away? I certainly hope that it does.

2) When did the biggest boon in entertainment become a family of bearded, duck and goose call carvers? I missed that transition. It seems to have happened after the big excitement over the obnoxious kid in toddler beauty pageants and before the dawn of aggressive gold mining shows. Of course I see television very infrequently so it’s easy to get one by me. I completely missed all the furor a couple of years ago when those really annoying people from South Jersey were on the tube.

3) Who is getting all the texts that are sent by all those people incessantly texting? In any gathering of two or more people, it doesn’t matter what kind of gathering, someone will be tapping away on one of those little electronic devices sending a message to who knows where. At the mall one day I tried to keep track of keystrokes and messages sent within a fifteen minute period. By doing a little mathematical extrapolating I determined that people in that mall sent a mass of data equivalent to two volumes of the Congressional Record in just over an hour and a half. Who can read that much crap?

4) When did being a vegan become a religion? If one chooses to subsist on vegetables and their by-products then, by all means, carry on. But please don’t feel like you need to change the world to that point of view. I saw an article today that some high school vegans were bullying and criticizing students who were taking conventional agriculture classes. The vegans were picking on the FFA membership. Back when I was in high school only the pumped up jocks could pick on the FFA. And they had to be careful because those hay-slingers could be deceptively strong.

5) Shouldn’t those folks that drive the little electric carts in Wal-Mart and grocery stores be required to take a couple training sessions and pass a test? I’ve been assaulted by old ladies backing up or making quick turns more times than I can remember. One day in Acme I had to leap up on a toilet paper display to avoid being crushed by two of those drivers trying to be the first to reach a Depends sale. It turned into road rage on aisle ten. Give those folks some driving lessons. Then assign an employee to police the aisles and issue tickets. If they get a ticket take away their coupons or gas discounts. It’s just common sense.

Okay that’s enough of my complaints for today. You can see how telling my grandson about all of these big problems in our world might affect him in a bad way. But all of you kind folks that read this stuff are already messed up so you can take the bad news.

Now have a fine day.

Comparative Bluegrass

As a birthday gift last month my wife got tickets for a Bluegrass concert tonight in a nice theater in a nearby town. I’m not going to mention the band’s name but I will describe them a little bit. They’re considered one of the top acts in the business. They’ve had Grammy nominations, IBMA awards and SPGMA awards. And they’ve been around for quite a long time. The group consists of a bass, mandolin, banjo, fiddle and two guitars. The lead singing is divided between two fellows and the bass player sings harmony on most songs. They’re very good.

Everyone who knows me knows that my favorite Bluegrass group is the Gibson Brothers. Some folks think that I’m not objective enough in evaluating the appeal of their music and their live performances. In fact some say that I like the GB’s mostly because they’re nice guys from the North Country. Nope.

Hearing this other band tonight brought into clear focus why the Gibson Brothers are a cut above so many other bands on the festival and concert circuit. So here’s a little bit more about the show we saw tonight. All of the instrumentalists were technically excellent. They took solos and really dazzled with their picking skills. The harmonies of the lead singers were also first rate and when the third part singer came in it was really nice. The songs played were a mixture of hard driving standards and a few old time ballads along with some original material. There was one kind of non-denominational gospel song I’d call more of an inspirational piece. Every song was delivered with energy and professionalism. But something was missing. On only one or two songs did I feel like these fine musicians cared about the music. They enjoyed performing and were good at it. But they weren’t emotionally connected.

Every time I see the Gibson Brothers play, or listen to one of their CDs, I sense that they really love each and every song they play. The instrumental work serves the song. The vocals serve the song. And the harmonies always serve the music. When Joe Walsh or Clayton Campbell or either of the brothers take a solo it’s not about showing their considerable skills, and their skills are as technically sound as any band in the business. The solo enhances and emphasizes the song being played. Mike Barber’s bass is technically sophisticated and precisely right. But he always provides the solid foundation for the song and never swerves from that purpose.

Another thing that the Gibson Brothers have is clarity. The band we saw tonight had a fine sound system and they were pretty tight in their arrangements. But they sometimes stepped on one another in transitions and seemed a little muddy in their vocal and instrumental delivery. I’ve seen the Gibson Brothers play with some sound systems that were barely adequate and yet their clarity of tone in voice and instrument was clean and crisp. They achieve that result through coherence of the band members that shows the humility of each member as they serve the song and the whole concept of the performance.

Making Art is what I’m talking about, I guess. The band we saw tonight may consist of some fine musical artists. In fact I’m sure it does. But they didn’t all seem to share the vision of what that art should be as a musical organization. The Gibson Brothers band really knows that they’re creating art as individuals and, when they’re together, as a band.

So there you have it. This should be just one more reason for you to pick up a copy of the new Gibson Brothers CD “They Called It Music” available through their website or Compass Records or Amazon and other outlets. But this also should give you a good reason to catch the band when they perform live at festivals and concerts over the next several months. They’re worth a whole lot of driving.

Now have a fine day.

Taking Sides

Friends, did you ever think that you were just a breath away from a real insight, a real epiphany? That’s how I’m feeling right this second. In my mind I can almost believe that if I write out, in some logical way, my thought processes as they’re occurring then I’ll have one of those moments of discovery. So bear with me as I try to describe this effort at explaining why it is hopeless to ever believe that consensus or compromise or harmony will ever exist in our society. Hell those things might not be possible anywhere in the world outside of a monastery.

Today I was reading the newspaper editorial page. On the page were two letters to the editor, one supporting stringent gun control and confiscation of all weapons owned by individuals and the other stating the argument for constitutionally guaranteed gun ownership. Each of these letters referenced the same set of facts; guns are used by bad people to kill other people, it’s easy for bad people to get guns. The anti-gun folks see those two facts as a call to get guns out of the hands of everyone thereby, logically, getting them out of the hands of bad people. The pro-gun people see the facts as a logical impetus for good people to have guns so they can stop bad people from killing good people. Of course this is a simplistic presentation of the argument but my point is that no matter how each side presents its argument to the other side there will be no agreement. Why not, I ask myself? There will be no agreement because each side has a set of core beliefs that are never going to be reconciled.

It doesn’t matter which issue we look at. And we all know the modern media is capable of looking at dozens of issues every minute of every day. In fact we are battered with information about how divided we all have become. Immigration, abortion, gay marriage, energy development, education, health care and many other issues can elicit a highly predictable response from people who have those firmly embedded core beliefs. Each group thinks the other is basically wrong. They don’t think that the other group is just a little bit in error. There isn’t any room, on either side, for tolerance. Each member of each side of any issue thinks that they are right and the other side is dead wrong and pretty much a bunch of idiotic imbeciles. Some lip service may be given to tolerance and compromise in the halls of political debate. But, really, when does compromise happen?  One side will win and create laws to solidify its position. The other loses and harbors resentment and anger.

Years ago there may have been some negotiation on issues that resulted in compromise. I’ve read some history and can find a few instances where that happened. But usually issues are decided when one side wields enough power to wrangle the other side into submission. Compromise often is a name given to adding an amendment to a bill that sends some money for one project or another to those on the losing side.

True believers have a hard time compromising or making concessions. In fact, true believers by the very nature of their beliefs see any variance from their core values as error. Error by definition is wrong. Wrong won’t do.

It’s easy to label the sides in today’s battles over issues. A few minutes with a newspaper or with any news and commentary television program will define the sides and provide the standard labeling. Left and Right are the biggies. Then there is a vaguer and more poorly defined group called Moderate or Centrist. When arguments get heated the pejorative labels – Radical Left, Right Wing Christians, Fringe Left, Right Wing Extremists – all get tossed around stirring things up even more. When labels start flying people stop listening. Other labels – Racist, Anti-gay, and Anti-religion – may come out and any semblance of orderly discussion is completely lost. Compromise becomes a faded dream.

True believers feel that they have the right to tell those who are indifferent on an issue, or those who disagree with them on an issue, that they, the true believers, should be the ones to make the rules and policies. Yes they should make the rules and policies and handle the enforcement of those policies. Disagreement should not be tolerated. Those who disagree will be denigrated, ridiculed and sometimes prosecuted for their recalcitrance. And friends, it doesn’t matter which side we look at, the true believers are an intolerant bunch. Or are they?

Can we see any signs in either the Left or Right of more tolerance for disagreement? Or perhaps, just as importantly, can we see any signs of tolerance on either side for indifference to their arguments on issues? After all, in a free country even the indifferent need to be tolerated. Folks on the Left like to think that they’re tolerant. But many of the Left leaning leadership people are quick to label those who disagree with them as ignorant, illogical and just plain wrong. By the same token those who are considered leaders on the Right have little tolerance for their opposites and toss out similar epithets. See what I mean? It’s hard to find a reasoned, reasonable way to discuss the whole problem of conflict over issues. Frankly, I don’t have a solution.

Maybe there shouldn’t be a solution. Maybe the arguments should continue, long and loud. When one side or the other is in a position of power then let them try to champion the side of the issues they believe in. And let their opponents oppose. Bring the arguments to the public. Generate discussions and media coverage. If some of the indifferent are swayed, finally, one way or another then let their voices be heard. That may tip the balance to one side and something will either get done or get set aside. Perhaps we worry too much about the inability of government to do anything. Perhaps that inability is a safety feature that prevents the powerful from exerting too much power over the vast majority of us. Perhaps it is one way of keeping the true believers from trampling the rights of their opposites. And maybe it keeps the true believers from imposing their will on the non-believers.

Well, crap. There wasn’t an insight in all that discussion after all. That’s what happens sometimes when I talk to myself. No progress.

Have a fine day anyway whether you’re a true believer or just an innocent bystander.

HOT NEWS: GREAT MUSIC IS STILL BEING MADE

Today’s mail brought something special. In a plain brown wrapper the Gibson Brothers new CD “They Called it Music” waited for an eager opening and a big loud listening. So I cranked up the volume knob on the player and sat back with a notebook in hand, ready to jot down thoughts as the tracks sailed along. Well, I might as well have been empty handed because I completely forgot about taking notes. These twelve songs had me so wrapped up in listening that writing would have broken the spell.

A track by track analysis isn’t happening here. This album needs to be taken as a whole. Radio DJ’s are going to have a tough time selecting favorite songs to play on their shows. Every tune has something to suggest it as the best of the disc. Traditional Bluegrass folks will have their favorites like “Sundown and Sorrow” or “I’ll Work it Out”. Old time country fans will probably choose “Dying for Someone to Live For” or “The Darker the Night, the Better I See”. People that like a sharper edge to their Bluegrass may prefer “Dusty Old World” or “Buy a Ring, Call the Preacher”. But it’s not that easy to define these songs. They cross lines. They wreck stereotypes. They’re original.

When the Gibson Brothers pick a song from other songwriters they keep open minds. On this CD there are songs from Joe Newberry, Shawn Camp and Loretta Lynn, Adirondack treasures Roy Hurd and Elizabeth Hill, Mark Knopfler and classic country writers J.L. Frank and Pee Wee King. Even that old standby Public Domain (actually Austin Taylor) gets a hearing with “Home on the River” a classic gospel tune. But here’s the thing friends – every composition on this CD becomes a Gibson Brothers song, whether they wrote it or not. They own them all.

Now I need to talk about production values a little bit. This CD sounds amazingly clean and clear. All the band members are perfectly tuned in to the Gibson’s vision of how to present a song. Clayton Campbell is so strong and supportive, Joe Walsh adds that subtle mandolin drive and Mike Barber’s bass is rock solid yet imaginative. Most every track has standout solo work. And the guitar and banjo playing is a treat to hear. But the blending of all these elements makes it seem like the band is sitting in your living room playing a casual private concert. It’s that good.

I’m going to get personal for a minute and mention my favorite song on the album. It’s the last track, “Songbird’s Song”, which touched me in a special way. I’m a poet, or trying to be, and I sometimes read a song with poetry in mind. This simple little piece has really good poetic elements. It is sentimental without being overly sweet. It has a sense of melancholy but remains hopeful. It has a lovely rhythm and rhyme scheme that stands well without musical accompaniment. When this fine poem is set to music, with the gentle harmonies of the “whoo-whoo” added to the mix, it reached this listener’s heart. Deeply.

So buy this CD. I’ve been accused of being a cheerleader for, and “uber-fan” of, the Gibson Brothers. Well that’s true and I’m proud of those appellations. But there’s a reason for my fanaticism – these guys make great music and that’s something that deserves attention.

Now have a fine day.

Bluegrass as Art: "They Called it Music"

This morning on WAMU radio over in Washington a sneak preview of an upcoming CD from my favorite Bluegrass band, the Gibson Brothers, was presented by Katy Daley. I heard six songs, half of the album I think, but that was enough to get me thinking about what a great project this CD has become. Specifically, though I’m sure I’ll ramble off in other directions, these songs caused me to consider Bluegrass music as art.

Hold on now! I know you folks don’t want to read a bunch of high brow crap about artsy-fartsy theories and scholarly opinions. And if you know me you’ll know I’m incapable of that stuff anyway. No, I’m simpler than that and I’m of the “I know art when I see it or hear it” school. To me art - whether it’s a photograph or a painting or a film or a piece of music – will have three qualities. First, good art must make me pause and consider what’s going on in the picture or music. Secondly, there must be some emotional reaction to the art under consideration. And finally, when I walk away from the particular artistic offering I must continue to think about it for some time afterwards, often at unexpected moments. Well this new album from the Gibson Brothers scored very high marks in all three of those categories.

I’m only going to focus on three songs of the six I heard to illustrate what I’m talking about in regards to art. The first song is the title cut, “They Called It Music”. This is a lively, old-time sounding tune about defining how “labeling” enters into the business of music. To me this song is a bridge of sorts between old style Bluegrass and the more contemporary versions we hear today. The band uses a contemporary lyrical structure with several of the conventions of traditional styling and blends them into a perfect definition that supports their title premise. I paused to think after hearing this song, and even while the song was playing. I was emotionally uplifted by the sheer musicality of the piece. And as time moves along, I’ll find myself thinking about this song when I hear other Bluegrass songs or even other genres of music. It’s art.

The second song I’ll mention is “I Will Always Cross Your Mind” which was written by Adirondack singer-songwriter Roy Hurd. Roy is an old friend of the Gibson Brothers and co-wrote with Eric Gibson one of their most popular performance tunes “Callie’s Reel”. This new tune is different in that it is a sweetly lyrical ballad of love and loss. The instrumental work is so fine, particularly Clayton Campbell’s soulful fiddle playing. Again this song blends traditions as it combines an Americana/Folk sound with the unmistakable Bluegrass voice so unique to the Gibsons. After hearing this song I was sent to memories and reveries of the mountains and woods. Though the song is written about the love of a man for a woman it can apply in so many emotional ways to all the kinds of loss we experience as time moves along. And again, this is a song that will stay with you even after a single listening. Art.

Finally, I want to mention “Songbird Song”. This one was written by Eric when the band was touring in Europe last year. His remarks, played by Katy, about the insomnia that led to the inspiration which created the piece were quite touching. And this song is absolutely beautiful. It’s a song about loneliness and it conveys that feeling so deeply. The great Hank Williams tune “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” is a classic, of course. But listen to this song and you’ll hear something that could rival that classic in years to come. The high harmonies in a wordless keening are amazing and emphasize the simple elegance of the lyrics. The underlying instrumental work is, again, understated and supportive yet “stand alone” beautiful. Mike Barber’s bass is perfect on this song. And one more time, it is art.

Other songs previewed this morning on Katy’s show were: “Home on the River” “Dying for Someone to Love” and “Buy a Ring, Find a Preacher”. All of these are superb and add great work to the Gibson’s collection of artistic achievement.

In poetry we often talk about attaining an individual “voice”. A poet will work for years learning how to reach the level where his or her “voice” is recognizable and original. I think the same process happens in music. Even in popular music, entertainers strive for a difference in their sound to set them apart from all the derivative stuff that has gone before. In Bluegrass we can almost instantly recognize the sounds of Bill Monroe, Flatt and Scruggs, Doctor Stanley, Mac Wiseman, Del McCoury and on and on. And in the past few years the Gibson Brothers have reached that level of recognizable quality. A Gibson Brothers song can be recognized in just a few notes. This album, this representation of a true artistic evolution, will reinforce an already stellar reputation. “They Called It Music” is coming soon. Music can enrich your life and this album will add to that enrichment.

Now go listen to some good music and have a fine day.

Animals and Us

The last time I wrote one of these little articles I blathered on about giving every single kid in the country two free years of college. It was serious stuff and it caused a few folks to question my reasoning (impeccable as always) and disagree with me in very civil tones. We have some high toned discussions, my readers and me. Since that essay was posted I’ve been casting about for another subject to address. One of my good friends suggested that I write about the move towards legalized, medically sanctioned and assisted murders. But I’m avoiding that one for now because we really shouldn’t even need a discussion on so heinous a subject. So instead of that I’ve decided to really kick up the dust by talking about pets.

First of all let me say that I like animals. Dogs are great. Cats are okay. Little fish swimming around a nice tank are just fine. Caged birds are questionable, as are snakes and other critters that lay around in glass boxes waiting for a handful of crickets or a juicy living mouse. Rodents in cages can be amusing but ever since I had to do some demolition work on a building that had drop ceilings completely infested with mice and rats, I’ve been unable to see those kinds of animals as friends of mankind. (Or womankind either) But, friends and neighbors, the American passion for having pets and treating them like people is, I’m sorry to say, not a healthy trend. But what is even worse is the tendency of folks to acquire animals that they treat worse than animals.

A good dog is a joy to own. They deserve to be treated kindly, fed properly, exercised regularly and appreciated for what they are. But a dog is an animal. The smartest dogs are still incapable of a higher level of thought. But some folks have anthropomorphized dogs to a degree that is actually insulting to the dignity of the canine species. I’m talking about all those silly and sad pictures that get posted on social networking sites by the thousands every single day. The attempts at humor or emotional manipulation done with those photos would be embarrassing to all of those dogs, if they had the ability to get their own page and look at that crap all day long. Of course some folks use human children in the same way. Those kids are destined to need psychological counseling by the time they reach their teens. There are people who take their dogs to doggy psychologists but I’ve never seen any improvement after those treatments. Usually it’s the owners of those poor pups that need the shrinkage.

And cats are used in the same manipulative way. Some poor kitty does something cute, the owner takes a picture adds a clever caption and sends the photo out on FaceBook or some other site. All the cat lovers say “Awwww!” All the folks who are indifferent to feline behavior say “What the hell, another damn cat picture!” Not me of course, I love cats. But I still feel that those cats are abused and maligned by what their owners do with all those unauthorized photos. Actually I guess the authorization is implicit in the fact that the cats are chattel property held by the humans. But I’ve never seen a cat who would accept slavery without a fight. They just ignore those conventions anyway. Cats operate on a different plane of existence from humans. We all know that.

So let’s quit trying to turn cats and dogs into four legged humans. Give them the dignity they deserve. I was talking to some people the other day about reincarnation and we got around to the subject of what we’d like to “come back” as. Not one person wanted to come back as a human. The number one preference was cat, followed closely by dog. A couple of the odder folks in the discussion group selected rocks or trees and such. One fellow wanted to come back as crabgrass because that stuff lives forever no matter what you do to kill it.

Okay. Be nice to animals but remember they are still only animals.

Now have a fine day.