Gender Neutrality

It finally happened. I was at the library a few days ago and I finally saw a parent who is raising a “gender non-specific” child. Sure, I had read about people following that course but I thought that it would only happen in big cities or places like Berkeley where lots of PhD’s hang out. I never thought I’d see the phenomenon right here in conservative little Dover, Delaware.

The mother of the child I saw was about forty years old, dressed in what seemed like expensive clothes (I’m not a fashion expert) and soft spoken. She had an armful of books, mostly historical romance novels (which seemed odd) although I did spot a vegetarian cookbook in her stack. The kid, who was about four years old, had books about animals – no Dr. Seuss or other “story” books at all.

I’m not sure if the child was a girl or a boy. It was non-specific after all. But if I had to guess I’d say it was a boy. The mother addressed the kid as “Aspen” which is about as gender free as you can get. I’ve always had trouble figuring out the sex of trees. There was no clue in the child’s clothing. Brown sandals, khaki shorts and a white t-shirt with a picture of a pony could have been worn by either gender. And of course, at that tender age, a high pitched squeaky voice is pretty much required for boys or girls.

The reason I know that the woman was going for complete gender equality with her child was the fact that she pretty much announced it to the library lady, the security guard, a couple of other library patrons and the homeless guy who had just awakened from his afternoon siesta. I guess if you’re interested in a “Cause” you need to do a little proselytizing. So as we stood at the self-checkout computers I ventured a little further into the hell of modern social trends and asked her what “gender non-specific” or “gender neutral” meant and what would be the benefits of raising a child according to whatever dictums those terms might entail. She looked at me as if I was Chewbacca suddenly shaved of all my hair. But she tried to calm the haughtiness in her voice as she told me about the terrible damage the world has suffered due to the dominance of males and the evils of gender inequality. I nodded a lot as she gave a quick overview of the history of the world, pointing out who started wars and why, who brings the most violence to our cities and who dominates weekend television time with violent sports activities.

Then she said that the solution to this terrible mess was to erase male dominance and the way to do that was to foster a few generations of kids who are not aware of gender roles. Once the dominant male was culled out of the world’s population we’d see no more war, a major reduction in violent crime and a much more harmonious society. I pointed out that another benefit would be the elimination of gender-specific toys like Barbie and Ken and, sadly, GI Joe. She said yes, that would be another wonderful result of the movement.

We were having a fine old philosophical discussion when I slipped up and asked “But what about biology?” It seemed to me that at some point in their lives these little androgynous kiddies would look into each other’s underpants and realize that their parts don’t all match. She told me that by the time the kids got to that point they would have been thoroughly indoctrinated into the whole gentling concept of de-gendering (she actually used that term) and that they would accept the minor genitalia differences and parents could instruct the youngsters in the purely scientific use of those differences.

Well friends, I don’t know about you but I was pretty darn young when I became aware of the differences between boys and girls. It wasn't all social conditioning. Or if it was social conditioning then I’m kind of glad it was set up that way. Of course that might be my happiness at being part of the dominant male section of the population speaking, but I think biology had more to do with becoming aware. So very early in my life girls were girls, and I wasn't. And I wasn't neutral either.

Now I realize that there are lots of folks in the world born into genders they’re not right with. And I can understand that they choose to either switch over or else operate within the realm of same sex relationships. Those folks are sincerely being true to their own nature. But my new friend, the gender nullifying mom, is heading into darker territory with her quest to deny children the right to their own specific sexual identity. In fact it seems somewhat like a dangerous social experiment that could have bad results somewhere down the road. But that’s just my opinion and I’m sure there are many experts who have written books spelling out why I’m wrong.

I’m not sure how many folks are involved in the gender-non-specific movement. I suspect the numbers are low and the long term impact on society will also be low. But I thought the same thing about atheists and their crusade to dominate religious folks of every denomination and look at the inroads they've made in our nation. Of course the atheists aren’t fighting biology like the gender neutralizers. So if you run into a gender neutralizer parent try to talk some sense into him or her. It’s not easy, especially if you’re a man talking to a woman or vice-versa. When that happens you might want to enlist the help of your husband or wife or someone else who appreciates the differences between men and women.

Now have a fine day.