Borders and Crossings

For twenty five years or more we hadn’t crossed the border between Canada and the United States.  But last week, with my daughter and two grandsons, we decided to head over to Hemmingford in Quebec for a visit to Parc Safari, one of those wild animal places with added amusement park features.  We were all prepared.  My dear wife and I had our fresh new “enhanced” Delaware drivers’ licenses.  My daughter and the boys had passports.  Remembering back to the days when we would go to Canada a few times a year, for a few hours or for a pleasant weekend, I anticipated a friendly welcome from the border control guys on both sides of that boundary.  Times have changed folks, times have changed.

 

Going into Canada we pulled up at one of the many rural crossings in northern New York at about eleven in the morning.  The young man in his dark blue uniform filled out by body armor had a rather stern expression on his face.  I figured he might be having a bad day so I was just as pleasant as I know how to be.  We opened the van doors so he could see inside the vehicle and I handed over our documents.  He looked inside the van saw a twelve year old boy, a seven year old boy, a forty something young lady, my dear wife who looks much younger than her years and me, a silver haired smiling older gentleman.  He asked “What brings you to Canada today?”  I said “We’re going to Parc Safari.”  He was quiet for a short time flipping through the passports and drivers’ licenses.  Then he said “What’s your story?”  I replied “What do you mean, what’s my story?  We’re taking the kids to the attraction that attracts kids to your country.”

 

He said “You surely didn’t drive all the way from Delaware just to go to Parc Safari?”

 

I replied “Is it that bad an attraction?  But no, we only drove from our place in Franklin County on the Deer River.”

 

He gave me another stern glance and then started comparing our faces to our documents.  I once again willed myself into a pleasant attitude hoping this little ordeal would end quickly.

 

Finally the young man asked if we were bringing anything into his country; things like alcohol, firearms, agricultural products or children to be sold into slavery.  He really didn’t ask about that last item, I made that one up.  After determining that we weren’t terrorists, smugglers or agitators for the Quebec separatist movement he told us to enjoy our visit and sent us on our way.

 

So we went on our way.  We had a great time.  Parc Safari is a much better attraction than the Border Patrol guy seemed to insinuate.  We drove through their wild animal safari section and interacted with (that means fed, smelled and were accosted by) all kinds of critters.  We saw different kinds of antelopes, buffalo, camels, zebras, deer, hippos and other creatures too numerous to mention.  Then we parked our van and walked up to a large platform where we were able to view giraffes and some other animals.  Next we hiked on over to an area that had a little shopping center with restaurants and gift shops.  We had a very nice (really) lunch in a café which was only mildly overpriced.  After lunch the kids got a couple of souvenirs at a neat store.  Then we walked to an area that had lions and tigers which we viewed from glass tunnel like structures.  The animals walked right over us as they moved from one part of their large enclosures to another.  I was really impressed with that feature.   There were other areas to see and we walked a couple miles seeing them all.  Throughout the walking areas a water park attraction winds its way with slides, pools, tube ride chutes and fake beaches covering a lot of the ground.  And I must say that the French Canadian ladies sure do know how to wear teeny-tiny bathing suits.  That water park was a whole extra attraction as far as I was concerned.

 

The visit to Parc Safari ended about six-thirty and we loaded up and headed back to the USA.  I decided to re-enter the country at a different crossing just to see if the experience would be better.  I figured the American border security guys would be pleasant and glad to welcome us back to our homeland.  Well, maybe not.

 

The young fellow on our side of the border was also decked out in a sharp looking uniform with body armor under the shirt which gave him the appearance of an extreme body builder.  He was pleasant enough as he collected our documents and asked a few questions.  He obviously knew from his little computer screen that we had been to Parc Safari and that we had entered Canada at about eleven in the morning.  Data sharing like that reassures us all that US – Canada relations are healthy.  But then the fellow said “Do you and your wife have a birth certificate or passport with you?”  I said “No we don’t, we have the new enhanced Delaware driver’s license which you have right there in your hand.”  And he replied “Well I don’t think this is an enhanced license and I don’t think Delaware actually has that program yet.  Of course I personally haven’t met anyone from Delaware at this crossing before.”  So, mustering up more pleasantness I said “Well you have a computer right there in front of you, right, so why don’t you Google the Delaware DMV site and check on the license program.  I know I had to bring all kinds of documentation to get this license and pay extra for the thing so it would seem that the border authorities, such as yourself, would be aware of the program.”

 

My voice may have risen a decibel or two as I made that last little speech because the fellow seemed to get a little sterner as our conversation went on.  He asked if we were bringing anything back from Canada, such as firearms, alcohol or agricultural products.  I told him that we might have some elephant poop on our shoes but that was about it.  He didn’t seem to appreciate my little joke.  But he didn’t make us get out of the car for a search or any further interrogation.  He did closely match up our faces to our documents to be sure we hadn’t changed identities in the seven or so hours we were in Canada.  Then he said he was going to research the Delaware license issue and suggested that we do the same so that the next time we came through a border crossing there wouldn’t be any problem.  I asked him if he was going to send out a memo to all of the border crossing places when he discovered that I was right.  He said that he’d have to notify his superiors and that memo would come from much higher up.  Right then I knew I wasn’t going back to Canada anytime soon.  In fact I might even be on a “No-Fly” list at all the airports in the world by now.

 

Now friends, I understand the need for security on the borders.  But I also understand that the rules and procedures used to harass honest, law abiding citizens should be tempered by common sense.  Any person that has gone through border patrol training and passed all those tests should have the ability to recognize that the level of threat that a set of grandparents, a mother and two kids coming back from an amusement park present is pretty small.  And that person should have the authority to scale back on the interrogation and let that van full of citizens back into their home country.  Having been through airport security and having endured the insulting procedures at those places I really don’t have much hope that common sense will ever enter into air travel or border crossing again.

 

Next time I want to go out of the country for a little holiday I’m heading south to Texas or New Mexico or Arizona.  I’ll just drive on some back roads near the border, spot some Mexican citizens heading into our country without benefit of border security and cross over into their country.  I think it’d be a lot less hassle doing it that way.

 

Now have a fine day.