Crazy News

News articles on the internet have caught my attention over the past couple of days.  That’s never a good thing.  A lot of the stories fuel a smoldering anger.  Others leave me slack-jawed at the human capacity for blatant displays of ignorance.  Still others make me fearful as I see the nearly constant increases in all kinds of violence.  And of course there are the never ending stories of celebrities and their constant drive to attract attention.

But today I’ve been thinking about an ongoing story that has become a minor political issue.  At least the media would have us believe that it is an issue.  This story is about the military individual who was convicted of the unauthorized release of classified materials and for that crime was sentenced to a very long prison term.  But that’s not the story that the news folks seem to be interested in.  No, the big story is that this young criminal wants the U.S. Army to provide him with sex change therapy, maybe even surgery, while he is incarcerated for the next thirty years or so.

Friends, I’m sorry but I’m about to say something that may cause the more sensitive and caring among you to cringe with pain and disdain.  This is nuts.  (Absolutely no pun intended)  To even consider such a request is nuts.  For reporters, who like to think of themselves as serious people, to write and broadcast this nonsense is completely and utterly nuts.  I don’t feel sorry for the guy/gal.  I have no doubt that he’ll find much support for this insanity from folks who share his problem.  Too bad.  He was a man when he committed his crime and a man he should stay until he gets out of the slammer and on Obama-Care.  And that’s only if he can afford to pay for that notion of a “right” to health insurance.

Some of my friends may think that the humanitarian response to a young man who feels he should be a woman would be to arrange the necessary medical alterations at the taxpayer’s expense.  At the risk of seeming to be trans-gender-phobic I must voice my opinion.  Here it is.  Baloney!  My opinion has nothing to do with that particular non-issue.  Of course my opinion is just my opinion.  But my tax money should at least be used for expenses more in line with normal military expenditures.  I wouldn’t mind at all if my taxpayer dollars were used to buy ammunition for the execution by firing squad of the radical Islamist Fort Hood terrorist.  I guess that’s a little harsh.  But that’s what happens when I read the news.  I lose my tolerance for all kinds of things.

This story, along with all of those about young men killing people for no apparent reason beyond boredom or racial hatred, has forced me (again) to lay off the news for a week or so.  Some of you have told me that ignoring all the daily insanity of the wider world is irresponsible or worse.  Maybe.  But it’s the only way I can have a fine day.  You’ll have to find your own method.

So go have a fine day any way you can.

No Excuse

We all make excuses.  We make excuses when we do something that we shouldn’t have.  We also make excuses when we don’t do what we should have.  Well, maybe some of you out there avoid making excuses.  Maybe you always do what you say you’ll do, do it when you should and never make any mistakes in the process.  Right.

I’ve been thinking about the kinds of excuses that folks use as they go about their daily lives and, since I’m a scientific sort of guy, I’ve divided the excuses into three categories.  The categories are pretty broad because I didn’t want to think too hard.

The first category is the “I had no idea!” type of excuse.  This category is a tricky one as it obviously points the finger of ignorance at one’s self.  That often elicits sympathy from the offended person because it automatically puts them in a position of intellectual superiority.  It’s hard to be angry at a person who is calling you a genius.  Comparatively speaking.  I use this style of excuse all the time.  My wife will say “Why didn’t you put the trash out last night?” and I’ll reply “I had no idea it was trash day.”  And she’ll say “It’s been Tuesday nights for seven years now.”  My clever excuse “I had no idea.”  She feels smart and sorry for me at the same time.  Forgiveness flows.  This category of excuse is very popular among government officials when caught raiding the treasury.  “I had no idea it was illegal to fund this fact-finding mission to Costa Rica with money from the Health and Human Services budget.”

My next broad category of excuses is the ever popular “I’m sorry, but my bad back (shoulder, knee, hip, ankle, elbow, etc.) won’t allow me to help with the fund raising project.”  Of course the defective body excuse is useful for more than just fund raising projects.  It can be used when the wife wants her husband to attend a social function that is particularly odious.  Or it comes in handy when the friend who helped you remove a fallen tree needs the same kind of assistance in his yard.  There’s a subgroup in this category especially reserved for the female gender and that is the PMS excuse.  A woman might say “Sorry I was so incredibly rude to your mother last night but I was PMSing at the time.”  That excuse is very versatile and it’s a shame men can’t use it.

Finally we have the “I didn’t get the email (memo, phone message, text, etc.)” excuse.  This one doesn’t need to be true, just believable.  It works best when there is no paper trail and in these days of paper-free communications there’s pretty much no way it won’t work.  For working people this is the workhorse of the excuse portfolio.  (Did you notice how many times I used “work” in the last couple of lines?)  We retired folks can’t avail ourselves of this one as often unless we’re avoiding certain tedious family functions.  “Sorry I missed Uncle Barney’s funeral, but I never got the email announcing that he croaked” And it nearly goes without saying that politicians and other government types depend on this excuse almost as often as the “I had no idea” variety.  “We needed extra security at the embassy?  I never got those emails.”  You can see how useful that is.

I just now thought of another category that is very useful in avoiding blame.  It’s the “I’m sorry but I’m old now and I don’t remember so well anymore” excuse.  I would have brought it up sooner but, well, I’m older and don’t remember things as well as I used to.  I can get a lot of mileage out of that excuse.

Now, excuse yourself and have a fine day.

Celebrities

Last Saturday night a charity basketball game was played at a local university.  The game featured a team made up of celebrities against a team of local college players and alumni.  I’m going to display a rare bit of ignorance (Ha!) by confessing that I only recognized one name on that celebrity roster.  That person was someone named Brandy and she was acting as a coach.  I had no idea what Brandy does for a living but I had seen her name in some internet articles.

So, being a modern guy, I used Google to check out what made these celebrities famous.  Brandy, not to be confused with Brandi Passante of Storage Wars fame, is a singer whose last name is Norwood.  She’s got some credibility as a performer and a very strong voice.  A fellow by the name of Mario is another singer who added his presence to the event.  He also has a legitimate claim to celebrity status.  Then there was Sevyn Streeter yet another singer who seems to be a more recent arrival.  A young man by the name of Trevor J was listed but I couldn’t discern if he was a Trevor Jackson, singer and actor, or a Trevor John something also an actor.  But I’m sure all these folks have made the grade as celebrities by exhibiting some talent and by struggling through a process of climbing the difficult steps that are involved.

But thinking about celebrities, which usually makes my head hurt, brought me to the notion that there are an awful lot of them who have never really shown any talent other than a talent for self-promotion.  There are also celebrities in the world of sports who gained fame quickly, perhaps had some initial promise of real talent, but then settled into a mediocre career bolstered only by their talent for getting their names in the papers.  Their stardom was more about ego than performance.  But sports is a whole different story.

On the internet one can read about celebrities from the wonderful world of reality television shows.  People named Kardashian seem to turn up frequently.  Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Jessica Simpson; who are these people and what have they done to deserve their celebrity-hood?  I used up all my patience for checking out celebrities a little earlier so they’ll remain mysteries to me.

Some people get to be really, really big celebrities.  Perhaps they’ve had talk shows or acted in movies or television.  Some might have been thrust into the limelight through politics or being involved with politicians.  And all too frequently these people are taken seriously when they offer opinions or advice about big issues or current events.  They may be smart folks and they certainly have the freedom to say what they think.  But why they should be taken any more seriously than Elmer Fudd puzzles me.  How did Oprah become a legal, spiritual and literary expert?  How did George Clooney become an authority on international governmental relations?  When did Ed Begley Jr. become the go-to guy on environmental issues?  And finally, why would anyone even listen to anything that Anthony Weiner or Monica Lewinsky had to say?

Now I’d like to be famous someday.  It would be cool, for a little while, to have a small degree of celebrity.  And I’ll bet most of you reading this wouldn’t mind it for yourselves.  But being a celebrity brings much that is unpleasant.  Celebrities need to be prepared to have their entire lives exposed to the public eye.  They need to realize that the smallest action will result in a terribly out of proportion reaction.  I’m not sure my private life would stand up to too much scrutiny.  Celebrities are not only greatly loved they are also frequently vilified and even hated.  I mean look at what I just did in this little article.  I pretty much dismissed celebrities as a class.  Not that I hate celebrities, I just question their usefulness from time to time.  Of course there are those charity fund raising events that get help from celebrities.  So maybe there is a reason for them after all.

Now go have a normal person’s fine day.