I was sitting at the computer scrolling through the news on CNN the other day when my oldest grandson walked by my chair.
He said “Grandpa, why are you muttering so much? And why are you so angry?
I said “Young man, you don’t really want to know. Besides that, I wouldn’t know how to begin to tell you without taking up several days of your precious growing up time.”
So he went off to do something useful regarding bugs.
I used the amazing power of the mouse and clicked off the news and thought about that brief conversation. When I get into a pessimistic frame of mind it’s better to keep my thoughts to myself. It’s wouldn’t be right to unload on an innocent child all the dismay and discouragement that builds up when I read the news. Kids will find out about all of that soon enough. But here’s the big question. (There’s always a big question, right?) What the hell is wrong with the world today?
Okay, never mind. That’s too big a question. Let me try to narrow it down a little bit. Try this on for size. What the hell is wrong with so many people in our country today? I’m not trying to disparage any particular individuals, but I’m going to list a few groups of folks that I just can’t understand. If you’re in one of these groups please don’t take offense, I just want to try and understand you and the particular behavior that you indulge in, because frankly I don’t get it. Here goes.
1) Why wear pajama bottoms in public? Or even worse, why wear pajamas that don’t fit, a too small t-shirt and flip flops or fuzzy bedroom slippers in public? Will this fashion statement ever fade away? I certainly hope that it does.
2) When did the biggest boon in entertainment become a family of bearded, duck and goose call carvers? I missed that transition. It seems to have happened after the big excitement over the obnoxious kid in toddler beauty pageants and before the dawn of aggressive gold mining shows. Of course I see television very infrequently so it’s easy to get one by me. I completely missed all the furor a couple of years ago when those really annoying people from South Jersey were on the tube.
3) Who is getting all the texts that are sent by all those people incessantly texting? In any gathering of two or more people, it doesn’t matter what kind of gathering, someone will be tapping away on one of those little electronic devices sending a message to who knows where. At the mall one day I tried to keep track of keystrokes and messages sent within a fifteen minute period. By doing a little mathematical extrapolating I determined that people in that mall sent a mass of data equivalent to two volumes of the Congressional Record in just over an hour and a half. Who can read that much crap?
4) When did being a vegan become a religion? If one chooses to subsist on vegetables and their by-products then, by all means, carry on. But please don’t feel like you need to change the world to that point of view. I saw an article today that some high school vegans were bullying and criticizing students who were taking conventional agriculture classes. The vegans were picking on the FFA membership. Back when I was in high school only the pumped up jocks could pick on the FFA. And they had to be careful because those hay-slingers could be deceptively strong.
5) Shouldn’t those folks that drive the little electric carts in Wal-Mart and grocery stores be required to take a couple training sessions and pass a test? I’ve been assaulted by old ladies backing up or making quick turns more times than I can remember. One day in Acme I had to leap up on a toilet paper display to avoid being crushed by two of those drivers trying to be the first to reach a Depends sale. It turned into road rage on aisle ten. Give those folks some driving lessons. Then assign an employee to police the aisles and issue tickets. If they get a ticket take away their coupons or gas discounts. It’s just common sense.
Okay that’s enough of my complaints for today. You can see how telling my grandson about all of these big problems in our world might affect him in a bad way. But all of you kind folks that read this stuff are already messed up so you can take the bad news.
Now have a fine day.
